Starter+for+Revision+Mini-Lesson

//for// Mini-Lesson on Revising


 * Starter:** (10 min.) A student has done a freewrite about a fight she had in the lunch room. She also wrote a "focused sentence" and did more freewriting, beginning with that focused sentence. Now I'd like you to go one more step in revising these freewrites. Doing these three things with this student's writing will make clear what you need to do with your own freewriting.

1) Re-read this freewrite, and write a new //focused sentence// at the top. What's a //focused sentence//?
 * Write one perfectly-worded sentence that summarizes everything this student wrote in her freewrite.
 * ALSO, show your opinion in that sentence. Start an argument.
 * Write one completely correct sentence that some people would strongly disagree with.

2) List 5 keywords or tags for this writing at the bottom of the freewrite.
 * What are the main ideas in this piece of writing.
 * What important words get repeated a lot?
 * If this were on the Internet what search-words in Google would help you to find it?

3) Write a good title for this freewrite, something that would make people want to read it.

Title:

//New// Focused Sentence :

I remember in 2nd grade I had fought my old old Bestfriend Megan Booker we were both Gemini people use to say Gemini and Gemini doesnt get along that well. We were very close but things happen and it happen so fast in the school lunch room in my old school C.s.134. It all happened fast because she was talking about me to her other freinds and i felt some type of way because that was my bestfriend so i asked her she got smart guess she was trying to make a show so next thing you know we started fighting and the staff were trying to brake it up.

Focused Sentence: After it was over we was like what happend and stuff then i relize i just fought my bestfriend over some he say she say gossip so we got in trouble. but i felt bad because i believed the gossip over her but she was talking about me to her others freinds because i heard half of the gossip .then she wanted to apoligize and i said no because i just asked her a question and she started getting smart and loud for no reason so we started fighting i wont ever forget that day because it happen fast and it was over some gossip...........

Tags / Keywords: